Sometimes I am still surprised that I’ve managed to settle into a running-free life.  It felt like agony in the beginning, but in the past couple months, things have changed.  It’s not [...]]]> Today I am finally getting fitted for custom orthotics.  My physical therapist swears I will run again, and soon, but I still don’t know.

Sometimes I am still surprised that I’ve managed to settle into a running-free life.  It felt like agony in the beginning, but in the past couple months, things have changed.  It’s not that I learned to live with it; it’s more that I learned to live in a different way.

Sure, there were some tears.  There were some screams.  But looking back, I have grown an incredible amount, and I’m not sure that living out a dream of running a half marathon would have taught me the same lessons:

• I discovered yoga.  Running was my outlet for any and all emotions.  Frustrated?  Run.  Angry?  Run.  Excited?  Run.  Afraid?  Run.  I had some of my most introspective thoughts while pounding out the miles.  But with yoga, I learned to shut my  brain off.  I stopped focusing on my body and my emotions, and instead centered on simply being.  That mental freedom is something I will treasure forever.

• I practiced patience.  I followed the plans I was given, performed the strengthening exercises, stayed in when I knew I shouldn’t walk too much, rested when I was told to.  I did what I should have, but my body didn’t always follow.  I could never predict when I would have a good day and when I would not.  I couldn’t make my own exercise plans; I couldn’t train for a race.  I could, however, focus on what was happening right now.  As someone who always looks to the future, this was a difficult adjustment – but it was worth it.  Patience is a virtue, and appreciating each day as I live it has been a beautiful gift.

• I started eating to live, not to run.  Most runners I know are a bit obsessed with food – what to eat, when to eat, how to eat it.  While I think the concept of sports nutrition is a fascinating one, it has been nice to take a break from it.  While running, I knew I needed to eat in order to run well (and the feeling of running while underfueled is not an enjoyable one).  But without running?  No longer was I eating for a purpose.  I was eating because it was an enjoyable, pleasurable part of life.  I’ve stopped seeing food as fuel, and I am now happy to approach it as something I love.

• I realized the mental benefits of exercise far outweigh the physical.  I started seriously exercising a couple years ago in order to change my body.  And suddenly, I found myself forced to rest.  I was shocked to find that not only did my weight not change an ounce, but that I also didn’t care.  Far more than the calorie burn, I missed the high.  Each day I am able to walk, to press up into downward dog, even to zone out on the elliptical, I am grateful for the ability to do it.  I’ve proven to myself that I exercise to better my soul.

So really, who knows if orthotics will be a miracle cure.  But if they aren’t – I’m confident I’ll survive.

Have you ever been injured?  What have you learned from it?

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