A couple weekends ago, I stumbled upon a wonderful find while wandering my way downtown through Soho.
A market full of young, unique, highly talented designers, all showcasing their handmade jewels and threads. Some of the goods were well beyond my price range, sadly – but not all. I found my way to a corner, my eye caught by a rack of piecework dresses. I couldn’t tear my gaze away: they were all distinctive, beautiful, and totally my style. I had to at least try one on.
Selection narrowed down to a favorite, the sweet young designer pulled one off the rack and asked me which size I typically wear. I answered her, one size smaller than what she had selected.
Then I continued, “But maybe your dresses run small?”
She smiled and found my normal size. As I walked into the tiny dressing space, something hit me.
I didn’t care about the size.
I gave the woman a number without thinking twice. And while my usual size did, in fact, fit perfectly, I can say with 100% confidence that I would have remained completely unphased if I had needed to try on the larger dress.
While buttoning the dress, I did not become anxious. I didn’t once think, “Oh, I wish I could give a smaller number.” I did not feel that the woman judged me based on the digit I gave her.
It was all simply…irrelevant. All that number did was help us select which dress would be closest to my body’s dimensions. It didn’t mean anything else. It didn’t signify how much exercise I had done or how much food I had eaten. It didn’t signify how I felt about myself that day.
What did matter was that I discovered a beautiful dress. A unique dress. A dress that happened to fit very well.
It was a strange moment – perhaps something that has been building unconsciously for quite some time now. As I continued on my way home, shopping bag bouncing against my leg, dressed wrapped up inside, I had to smile. I didn’t think it was ever possible to get here. Sure, I know we all have days where we are critical of ourselves, and I do have them. But numbers and clothing tags don’t cause those days, and that is a huge step in the right direction.
Do numbers affect you? Have you learned to get past them?
Related posts:
This line means everything to me:
“I didn’t think it was ever possible to get here.”
Even if “here” isn’t perfect, it’s a place and state of mind that I truly never thought I’d achieve once again – and I know you can certainly relate. Thanks for an uplifting post on this perfectly sunny Thursday. Party party? :)
That dress looks so cute!! I want to see it on you :)
honestly, sizing still matters to me but im working on it & i know i’ll get to where you are now!
Dana<3
http://happinessiswithin.wordpress.com/
What an amazing feeling. I have been doing dressing room experiments lately. I go in and try on the whatever with my back to the mirror and I try to think about the comfort of it and how my body feels in it and then I use the mirror after I have pretty much made up my mind. It is kind of freeing.
i have days when numbers don’t matter at all, when i see them as meaningless…like when i notice how out of control vanity sizing has gotten in some stores ::cough cough:: jcrew ::cough cough::
but then i think back to a few years ago when i was 25 lbs heavier and i would go into cute boutique shops and ask to see a dress in a size 12…and people would say to my face “oh, we don’t carry anything over a 10.” it was infuriating!
using numbers as a tool of discrimination forces them to matter in a way that they never should.
I care more about fit than what the tag says. My sister is so concerned with wearing a 6 that she squeezes her body into jeans that don’t fit and tops that are too tight. She doesn’t realize that wearing the proper size will make her look thinner because the clothes won’t be squeezing and pinching her.
That dress is gorgeous! And now I am all up on Google trying to figure out where this market is. :)
Beautiful post.
I have to admit that numbers affect me too much. From weight, to clothes size. I try ignoring these numbers, but the habit is hard to ditch.
Hmm. the numbers still get me sometimes, i’ll admit. But only if I’m shopping in a store with standard sizes (ie GAP) where I know what size I usually wear. But for things like custom-made clothing not produced by an mass manufacturer (like your dress purchase) I don’t get as hung up on it. The creator creates the sizing scheme themself.
I need more new summer dresses! I’ve been wearing the same ones for years. Yours looks adorable.
That definetely made me smile, girl :D
I´m just so happy for you. This is such an accomplishment! I mean, to stop bothering about size numbers…
I wish I could say I reached this point. I´m honest enough to admit I (unfortunately) still have issues with sizes, specially jeans numbers. But I´m determinated to follow your lead, love.
You´re an inspiration.
Wish you a wonderful Sunday!
Brazilian XOXO´s,
Gabriela