Talking about my mom yesterday got me thinking, and for some reason, a memory resurfaced from my middle school years.
I believe we were back to school shopping for sixth or seventh grade, taking a break from purchasing whatever was “in” back in the mid-nineties at the Limited Too. We needed some fuel; shopping is hard work, after all.
So down to the food court we went. My mom, ever the healthy eater, no doubt chose a salad. But I posed the question, “Mom, what does a cinnabon taste like?”
I give my mom a lot of credit. I’m sure she knew how unhealthy that cinnamon roll was. I’m sure she knew the calories, the sugar, the fat. But still, she let me order it.
these days, i’m far more content to get those cinnamon bun flavors in the form of a bowl of oats.
I didn’t grow up in a house where fast food was a common occurrence. I never viewed chicken fingers and fries as a meal to eat daily; I never imagined Sbarro’s pizza to be a nightly meal. Sure, I ate both as an adolescent – but I ate them on occasion. Meals were something I knew to be prepared in our own kitchen the vast majority of the time.
Obviously, I have more than a few qualms with the fast food industry. I feel a little sick at the thought of sending my dollars to factory-farm slaughterhouses, hormone and chemical infused “foods,” and generally absurd portion sizes and sodium contents. Someday, I hope to raise children who understand that perspective, who can see that fruits and vegetables and grains are not only delicious, but the building blocks of our lives. At the same time though, I hope to allow them the freedom to explore, just as my mom did with me.
My mom didn’t touch my cinnamon bun that day. I’m sure it had more to do with her knowledge of the caloric content than anything else, but I also believe it was partly due to her status as an adult. She had tried cinnamon buns before, and it didn’t tempt her: she wanted her vegetables. Now, I feel the same way each and every day.
of course, growing up means you get grown-up indulgences too.
I think part of growing up is realizing that while you can make the decision for yourself to eat a lunch of ice cream, or a cinnamon bun, or a salad, you also realize that physically, the salad will probably make you feel your best. I wonder though: would I know that now had I not been allowed to experiment myself?
I don’t believe I have ever eaten at Cinnabon since then. I remember the roll being sweet, sticky, and too large to finish, but I’m nonetheless thankful that my mom allowed me the experience. She didn’t create any fear around such an unhealthy food. She didn’t cause me to feel deprived. She let me explore health and food for myself. And I’m sure, had I asked for it again on our next shopping trip, her answer would have been “no.”
I know I had to go through a lot of unhealthy habits in order to reach the stage I find myself at today. I had to try the cinnamon bun; I had to try the mocha frappuccino for a college dinner or two. Maybe I had to try the overexercising and the undereating. Because now I know, from experience, that I am at my happiest – and my strongest – when I have the salad, the oatmeal, [the wine] and the balance.
Do you think we have to explore unhealthy habits before we find healthy ones? What kind of example do you hope to set?
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I really enjoyed reading this. My mother as well allowed me to experiment with different foods..I was never told something had too many calories or it wasnt good for me. My mother just stated the facts and let me decide what label I wanted to put upon it. It actually took me up to this last year to have my own opinions on food because I was still trying different foods and finding my favorites. Now I love my veggies, fruits and green tea way over going to get a frap at starbucks. Live in learn!
Maggie
My parents let me try things, but they were pretty strict when it came to foods. It meant that once I was old enough to go meet friends by myself, etc, I wanted to try everything. And I did. And learned that I genuinely preferred healthier options… We ate burgers and pizza at home, but homemade is a far cry from what you get in McDonalds and I am thankful that I grew up with a taste for real foods.
I completely agree and think that, though of course it is an overall negative experience, disordered eating comes with a silver lining. I never had an eating disorder, but my weight has fluctuated and it has been unhealthily low. But from that experience I learned about healthy eating and balance, and it sort of led me to blog world and all these new experiences. It’s interesting to think about how our parents raised us and how we’d like to raise our kids. I never thought I’d want to raise my children to be vegetarian, though I am a LONG time one, but I’ve recently changed my mind as my vegetarianism became more ethically based. I will let them try meat if outside the home, but I think in my house it will be vegetarian fare. Thought provoking post!
I loved this!! I completely agree. I think you have to have your own experiences, you have to make mistakes. I’m at the same point in life where I choose healthier alternatives over nonhealthy ones because of how it makes me feel and that I know that it does my body good. yes, I have indulgences and I don’t deprive myself. like you said, it’s all about balance. I want my children to have a healthy relationship with food and that is an example I want to set.
You are such a great writer! I always feel like your content is useful and worthwhile. Please continue to write and I really hope you’re a writer in real life as well as blog-world!
Have a great weekend!
growing up my mom always let us have what ever we wanted, she never believed in telling us what to eat. at times this frustrated me, but now i realize she was teaching us to make choices for ourselves and for that i am thankful.
happy friday!
I love your posts. I would love to get to know you more. Were you always vegetarian. What schooling and work are you in now? Do you live alone, with friends?
Great post. I can barely analyze my current eating , let alone my past :)
i do think it is imporant to experience many different aspects of life to find what is truly right for all of us. Kind of like how my eating disorder has really made me a better person, though it is ahorrible thing to go thorugh.
I agree that balance, indulgence, and moderation are the keys to a good relationship with food. Also, I applaud your mother. I, too, have a mom who is very healthy and sane when it comes to eating and
being active. She always made it seem so easy to keep that balance, and she never told us we could never eat certain things, she just relied on the hope that we would learn to appreciate foods that were good for us in more ways than just flavor. I realize now that I completely took this for granted–it must be so hard to teach kids to eat right without seeming strict, and to constantly lead by examples. Kudos to my mother, your mother, and all the others out there who successfully teach their kids the value of a healthy (but also delicious and fun) balance.
Wow. That’s such an amazing post…and I think your mother is wise beyond belief. It’s so important to a child’s development to allow them to experiment with food in order to develop healthy eating habits. My mother made a huge mistake in that department.
I definitely agree that experiencing the effects of unhealthy habits is essential to the development of good ones, but only if they don’t reach unhealthy extents, if that makes any sets. I want to teach my children exactly what your mother allowed you to learn. I’m going to let them experience too many sweets, but also teach them that a single cookie for dessert is a much healthier choice than 5 cookies for dinner.
such a wonderful post.
=]
You have such a unique perspective on things. And yes, I do believe that for most people, it’s pretty normal to explore the unhealthy end of the spectrum before knowing what feels and is the best for us. I know I did. I guess it’s kind of like that saying, “you have to hit rock bottom sometimes…” I know eating unhealthy foods is not “rock bottom” but in the spectrum of eating, you get the point ;)