For a long time, I believed that as a woman, I was wrong to enjoy food. Though I learned to embrace my other interests, many of which my peers didn’t share [try finding a nineteen year old who wants to go to the theater on a Friday night], the joy of food was one over which I felt self-conscious for many, many years.
Last week, as I was primping nearly every evening for wining and/or dining, I found myself reflecting on that old state of mind.
saturday evening cocktail: jalapeño tequila, lime, cucumber, mint
So much of it was based on insecurity. Would people think, “She could be thinner if she wasn’t so into food?” Some was a need for control: how could I truly know what was on my plate? Partially, it was lack of trust in myself to order the “right” meal.
These days, I am proud to love food. Dining is a hobby of mine, like thrifting and writing. It’s about choosing places that are unique, exciting, and responsible in their food preparation – when I talk about dining, I don’t mean Ruby Tuesday’s.
It’s a relationship that goes beyond my own kitchen, into the dining rooms of restaurants who serve timeless classics or surprise me with modern innovations. I love to dress up, to sip a glass of wine – and then another. I love to read menus like a book, to try new food and flavors, to share creative bites. I love atmosphere, appreciating the decòr, the presentation of each plate, the mannerisms of the waitstaff. And I love the bond forged between those who share space at the table: family, old friends, new acquaintances.
There are so many beautiful things about dining, and I hate that it frightens so many women. I hate that magazines warn against it. I hate that diet tips encourage people to stay in, to measure their food, to ask for butter sauce on the side.
Sure, sometimes I still deal with lingering anxieties of my own, but they are less and less. I know every excursion doesn’t need to involve complete excess, and I know some most definitely should.
Take Saturday, for instance. Sofia and I decided to try a little Mexican place in the East village called Mayahuel.
The moment I stepped inside, I knew this one would be a winner. Everything from the tables to the wooden structure of the walls had an inspired vintage feel. The menu included a six page cocktail list based around varieties of tequila: some spicy, some sweet, some smoky. I actually like tequila – aside from gin, it’s pretty much the only hard liquor I enjoy. Vodka makes me want to cry, thanks to college.
Sofia is an expert on Mexican, and as she has instructed previously, salsa and guacamole are essentials at any Mexican meal. That’s what appetizers are for:
Delicious guac, salsa verde, and the most incredible smoke-infused salsa I’ve ever tasted.
And because we’re both foodies with similar palates, we split our entrees:
Tuna ceviche over crisp plantains and coconut avocado mousse. Yeah, I know. So good.
And a poblano pepper stuffed with mushrooms and goat cheese.
Another drink might have been consumed. Possibly two. This particular one was a blend of cinnamon, apple cider, and a smoky tequila.
So. An evening with atmosphere, style, flavor, food, drinks, and friends. This is why I love to dine, and I don’t believe I am an ounce less healthy because of it. I’m just a 24 year old enjoying the experiences I love. And I am more than ready to do it all over again this weekend.
How do you feel about dining out?
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cinnamon, apple cider, and a smoky tequila ???
that sounds like a really great combination! i taught i had havecinnamon with every possible ingredient,but apparently i forgot the apple cider&teq version ! :)
dining out…
i know that when i was a (little) child i LOVED dinning out,than when i grow older it started to freak me out,i stopped dinning out. meanwhile it’s okay,i start to enjoy it again,in fact it depends on the company i have ,which has a big impact of my emotional state(difference between family,good friends,school friends,people who know about my ed…)
but one big thing on which i have to work: to order what i like,and not what appears to be the healthiest /lights…
i m happy for you that you managed that,you can be proud!
that gives me hope! thank you :)
I think its fine to dine out if you enjoy it. Particularly with good friends. Its new experiences.
oh so yum. just had a mexican lunch that was fantastic…so yeah I enjoy dining out.
That looks like a great dinner.. go east village :)
I feel the same way as you do about dining. It is one of my favorite things to do and I am proud to be a foodie. I’m glad you are too because I love being around other foodies who appreciate the same things I do!
I love Mexican food! I’ve tried adding salsa to pretty much everything :)
Sadly, allergies prevent me from dining out much :( Instead, I like to unleash my inner foodie in the kitchen. I love what you said about being a foodie and proud of it though. Sometimes I feel like I spend too much time trying to come up with new recipes or make old ones more exciting. Then I remember it’s a hobby, like anything else… and no reason to feel guilty over :)
I’m going to the theater this Friday night, and proud of it.
I love dining out. LOVE IT. Unfortunately my bank account doesn’t enjoy it as much as I do…
dining out for me is definatly scary.
I want to enjoy it again.
but yes, i am embaressed to love food. i am embaressed to enjoy food. The same feeling… “maybe she’d be thinner if she didnt enjoy food”
but i do.
and i feel guilty that i do :(
stupid ed..
those drinks sound so superb.
i love tequila!!
Looks lovely! I also love dining out- it always feels so special and is a good opportunity to pause in the hectic rush of life and enjoy the company, an atmosphere, and a delightful meal with others. I also love doing the whole deal when dining out (appetizers, entrees, dessert, multi course meals, sample plates). I love tasting different flavours, interpretations of dishes, different methods of cooking, etc. It’s always so much fun!
I’m really beginning to enjoy dining out – and I’m proud that I feel this way now. I, too, used to think it was wrong to enjoy food, but now I embrace it!
you are so incredibly inspiring. Dining out has always been something I enjoy but my eating disorder changed it for me. I am working on appreciating the experience more now and i loved this post!!
your photos > my photos. i need to cultivate some mad dimly-lit-dining-room picture-taking skillz. enjoy daniel this weekend – can’t wait to hear about it!
With my job I’ve had the opportunity to go to a lot of good restaurants that I normally wouldn’t treat myself too – despite any fears I have about eating out (calories, eating too much too late), I really appreciate the experience and a good dish (appetizer, main or dessert) and I’ll make myself happy and eat what I feel like!
I spend all of my extra money on dining out if that’s any indication! I adore the experience, and the different restaurant environments and interacting with wait staff of all kinds (even the rude ones are interesting) and of course enjoying an array of ethnic and fusion and traditional foods made to the utmost perfection alongside a glass of wine, or if I’m going to go liquor, a mojito. Although I’ve got to say whatever you had looks fantastic :)
OH man, I know exactly what you mean about feeling like you shouldn’t enjoy food. I’ve always sensed that people in my life (both male and female) looked disparagingly upon woman who LIKE eating. Honestly, I think it comes from my WASPy background- oldschool WASPS (aka my grandparents) like to keep everything at a minimum and never indulge in excess of any sort. You know, minimizing any indication of wealth by dressing down in LL Bean and that sort of thing… and this definitely carries over into the realm of food. Heaven forbid someone should ENJOY themselves with one of life’s biggest pleasures!
Another wonderfully insightful post from you.