Warning: I need to complain a little. Apologies in advance.
Yesterday morning, as I was sipping my coffee and thinking about going to yoga class, I found myself not quite in the mood to venture out to the studio. I opened iTunes and began scanning my ever-growing list of podcasts, when I was struck with an impulse I hadn’t had in some time: I felt like going to the gym.
My apartment building is equipped with a small, but very functional gym, so the option was certainly there. I decided I had no reason not to go – I never want to feel as though I have to do yoga simply because it’s what I [gladly] dedicate myself to the majority of the time. Everyone needs to mix it up, on occasion.
positivity: banana oats with cinnamon, ginger, dried figs, cashews, tahini, agave
So I dug out my sneakers, rode the elevator to the roof, and hopped on the elliptical. It was a nice change – zoning out, feeling the beat of louder music from the headphones in my ears. 25 minutes later, I switched over to the treadmill. I took two steps – and I felt a pull behind my right knee. Another step: left knee. It wasn’t pain, but it was enough to know it could get worse. I spent about ten minutes walking with the incline cranked all the way up before I knew I needed to listen to my knees and call it quits.
I like to be more uplifting on the blog, but there isn’t much point in sugarcoating. I was fuming. I’ve been dealing with this injury for ten months. It used to upset me to the point of tears, but this time, I was angry.
more positivity: afternoon finds; total cost of $3
There are a literal million people in the world who have to force themselves to go to the gym each day. People who hate exercise, who dread it, who need trainers or numbers to motivate them. People who simply won’t do it.
In the past, I haven’t always had the healthiest relationship with exercise – but I do now. And while I am so, so content to practice yoga most of the time, I do not like the knowledge that I cannot do anything else. Can’t is not a word I want to face at the age of 24. And yet, here it is.
When I returned to my apartment yesterday, rather than wallow in self-pity, I did two things. I unrolled my yoga mat and spent a good twenty minutes stretching my body in all directions [I know a large factor in my knee problems is muscle tightness]. And I made an appointment with an acupuncture clinic to try yet another method of treatment. Yes, I can walk and I can do yoga. But yesterday proved to me that I am only managing the pain, rather than curing it, and I won’t accept that until I’ve exhausted every option.
and more positivity: le beaujolais est arrivé!
In the meantime, today I have yoga and a coffee date, and yesterday I acquired some beautiful finds for a nice $3. And, my sister and I picked up a bottle of Beaujolais, that wonderful late November treat.
I’ve learned to handle things beyond my control by focusing on the positive. What about you? How do you cope when your mind says yes but your body says no?
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I adore your blog and hope to add you to my blogroll, and perhaps if you enjoy mine , you might do the same ?
But focus only on you for that, k? 
I relate to your situation. I relate to it very intensely actually. If you would like to send me an email, go ahead, I will share some stories and it might help you out a bit.
I wrote a post today on things similar to this. You have to appreciate what you can do. If you can walk, you walk. And if you cannot step on a bike for another 2 years, or run for 30 seconds for even another year, that is okay. You accept your position now and you do what you can. It will get better
Stay positive!!! **hugs**
I know how you feel. I used to be a competitive gymnast… until I fractured the L5 in my spine and had to stop. It’s heartbreaking, even till this day. I always want to try a back flip again, but I know that with my body’s limitations, that part of my life will have to be subdued…
You become stronger and more motivated to do your body and mind well by any means possible (that won’t hurt you)… It’s hard, but it’s a learning experience. We have to try to make the best out of this unfortunate situation.
I can relate to this all too well. I gave up dancing a few years ago, originally temporarily. I’ve gone back since when the urge to do so gets overwhelming, but it becomes apparent very quickly that my body is just not going down that road again. How do I cope? I think about what dancing does for me, and try to find other ways. Whether it’s uplifting music to cheer me up, sounds and movements I need to lose myself in or just some heart-pumpig adrenaline, I can usually find something. Usually, not always. Sometimes I just want to be mad about the situation and I guess that’s okay too. Good luck with the acupuncturist!
leslie, i have totally been there with running and i understand how tough it is. you just have to let your body rest. i tend to pick up new hobbies in the meantime — have you tried swimming? spinning? i know those may be out of your price range though, but if you joined a gym with a pool and swimming pool you’d be good to go (NYU’s gym has a deal for alumn — it’s actually not too pricey, as you pay by the year).
OR just think about all the other things you can do beyond running/ cardiovascular exercise. i know that sounds daunting but sometimes your body just needs a rest and will heal itself. I didn’t exercise at all for most of June, July and August, and since then I’ve been feeling stronger and healthier than ever. enjoy the wine and don’t think about what you can’t do — life is short!
I’m so sorry you are frustrated with your injury right now. just know, that it WILL get better. have faith. stay strong and positive. I am sending love and positive energy your way. lately, I have become very intuitive when it comes to exercising. I know exactly what I want to do when it comes time to work out. and I do it. I just listen to my body throughout the day and see what I’m feeling. But when my mind says yes and my body says no, I start to feel a little guilty. the evil word “should” comes out and I feel forced. but lately, I’ve been coping by journaling or watching a movie when my body isn’t feeling up to a work out. I sit back on the couch and just breathe, and repeat a mantra to myself. something like: you are okay. not exercising today will not change you in any way. you need to rest. do it so you’ll feel strong tomorrow. I’ve been talking to myself a bit lately (in a non creepy way) and it has really helped. I make up little mantras or phrases and write them down, and read them to myself out loud when I’m feeling a little blue.
I hope you have a lovely sunday evening,
keep your chin up
wow leslie it as if this post was written by me. i have been a runner all my life but now i had to quit because of my digestive issues. it’s such a pain to see people run everywhere and i don’t know when and if i will ever get back to running. obviously the impact of running really does not help my gut at all. so i stick with only yoga too. it’s hard but i’d rather have a healthy body that is working properly then to run all the miles in the world.
it can be tough to feel like you are “stuck” to something. But DONt limit yourself. DO the things YOU want to do.. but listen to your body.. try pilates!? or dance!
stay positive love!
Oh Leslie, I’m sorry this is so frustrating. I know it blows.
Any time you want to do a little group yoga, I’d love to join! We need to have another date soon
[...] After class, as I walked home, totally energized in the perfect spring air, I began to wonder what it would be like to go for a run. Aside from very occasional discomfort affected by certain weather patterns or days on which I’ve done too much walking, my knees have really been fine. I don’t intend to ever be “a runner” again, but I’ve been getting curious about the possibility of going out for a couple miles every now and then. [The last time I tried this out, it didn't go so well.] [...]